then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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