oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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