drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
