I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
