the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I need to calm my uterus...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
