i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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