I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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