True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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