I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
