Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
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I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
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We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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