an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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