just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
