yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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