You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
