I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
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I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
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And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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