my soul wont recognize me after tonight
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
