i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
