I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
