By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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