I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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