I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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