And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
