where does the pee come out of this thing
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
