sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
