i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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