so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
