Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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