problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
