I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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