my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
