theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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