On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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