What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
