we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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