Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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