Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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