Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
