tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
