Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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