You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
