1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
