Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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