the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
