honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
