oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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