I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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