I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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