dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
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He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
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We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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