I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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