i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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