Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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