I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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