There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize