His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i think i just naturally attract stoners
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
