Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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