My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
