problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
